I'm An Enthusiast, I'm Not Google

"MtrRider Just Wants Doritos" (MtrRider) 12/16/2013 at 07:00 • Filed to: None

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It's fairly well known that I'm into cars. That's fine with me, and I enjoy talking about cars. What I do not enjoy is when people start thinking I know everything about every car on the road.

It's ok to ask me about my thoughts on a car, or an opinion about something automotive, but if we're together and see a interesting car don't assume I know what it is, how much power it has, how fast it goes or the name of the daughter of the guy that installed the wiring harness. I can't read VIN numbers and I don't know what tires you should get. (I have recommended Michelin Pilot Sports before, but that person stopped talking to me after finding out what they were.)

It's insulting to me when people ask me a question about, I don't know, some old Ferrari and assume I should know everything about it because, I quote, "you read about cars all day". No, I don't know what that old, rusty thing is. I know what era it's from, and could give a fairly educated guess at who built it. And with a few minutes of Googling I could probably tell you what it is. But do not assume I have an all encompassing knowledge of automobilia, because no matter how much I would like to I do not and will never know everything. Please stop pointing at cars in traffic and asking me how much power they have. I know withing 50 hp most of the time, but I can't tell you the numbers on 90% of the cars I see.

Do not ask me what car is "better" either. Even if I know which car I think is "better" that doesn't mean I can give you detailed specs off the top of my head. I think the new Mazda3 is a better car than the Camry, but I don't know which one has a bigger trunk or more legroom. And no, the Fusion is perfectly reliable despite what you heard about your friends uncles mechanics old Escort. Do not ask me what car is more reliable. Also do not hold me liable if something breaks on a car I recommended.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/16/2013 at 07:12

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Ah the truth dripping spot on like a mushroom cloud of "THIS".

SpeedSix > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/16/2013 at 07:22

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Well written.

thebigbossyboss > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/16/2013 at 07:31

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word

wkiernan > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/16/2013 at 07:33

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Well sir, you may not know the answer to every automotive question, but I sure do.

It may not be the right answer, but it's the answer.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > wkiernan 12/16/2013 at 07:40

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Your image link was broken. There, I fixed it.

Tom McParland > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/16/2013 at 07:51

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Yeah that is pretty much my life in a nut-shell. Though most people don't ask me about old stuff...but new stuff all day, everyday...however I do kind of market myself as the "car guy" that folks go to when they want to know something, so I try my best to keep up on anything new even if it is boring because it is good for business. Even still there is way more that I don't know than do know, but I'm glad I've met so many specialists here on Oppo that way if I have a Volvo question or a BMW question or whatever there are folks here that are really knowledgeable about those brands etc...

Tony Montana > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/16/2013 at 07:54

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Why yes, the BMW 1 series is the answer to everything.

AthomSfere > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/16/2013 at 07:54

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Whoops. Your camera cropped the good answers out. That BMW is barely in the frame and any Miata in the image is missing completely.

. . > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/16/2013 at 07:57

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What I like to whenever someone asks me for automotive advice is to present them with loads of often semi-irrelevant (but objective) data on whatever it is they're asking about while also not making the decision for them. This way they still think I'm smart (if boring:P), but can't really blame me if they don't like what they finally decide on.

The fact that I have an unusually good memory for automotive trivia and don't mind being treated as car-Google helps.

CalzoneGolem > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/16/2013 at 08:07

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When people ask me car advice I always tell them to buy a Prius. That usually gets people to leave me alone.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > AthomSfere 12/16/2013 at 08:19

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It's not my camera, otherwise it would be in a safer place than the ground.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Tony Montana 12/16/2013 at 08:19

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Including douchebags.

Dubblewhopper > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/16/2013 at 09:00

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I read it, and I imagined Gandalf, or Orson Welles character from Citizen Kane reading this aloud.

AthomSfere > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/16/2013 at 09:46

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I don't think its on the ground. Its on the Nurbuhring, and one of the inclined turns... I think the camera is just off the track close to level with the outside of the track.

Plus, the ground is about as safe as it gets. Zero distance to drop!

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > AthomSfere 12/16/2013 at 10:07

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I was trying to make a joke.

AthomSfere > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 12/16/2013 at 10:14

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Dang, so was I.

MtrRider Just Wants Doritos > . . 12/16/2013 at 15:39

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I do this too. I have no idea what I must sound like but I do know the most interesting trivia.

wkiernan > CalzoneGolem 12/17/2013 at 20:50

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Hey I got a new car.

What is it?

It's a Prius C.

Never heard of it. What kinda car is that?

It's a little Japanese hybrid car. It's made by Toyota. Gets about a million miles per gallon; it's awesome!

Why'd you buy that?

I got this friend, all the time his nose in car pages on the internet, he knows all about cars. So I asked him, what kind of car should I get. Prius C he says. You sure? Yeah trust me I know all about cars I'm an enthusiast. So I found out where to get one and I bought this thing and it's full of awesome high technology, but I'm still sort of surprised at my buddy CG.

Why?

Steering so numb! I thought he was an enthusiast.

Collin > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/17/2013 at 21:42

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That's why it pays to own a motorcycle (among many other reasons).

"How much rear legroom does the new Camry have?"

"A lot more than my motorcycle, that's for sure."

"Great point."

Andy Pitt > Collin 12/17/2013 at 22:28

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Doesn't a bike have essentially unlimited rear legroom, in the same way that a convertible had essentially unlimited headroom?

TheBaron2112 > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/17/2013 at 22:31

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That table at the top? That's roughly what the one I made looked like when I was preparing to buy my new car.

Engineer here.

MtrRider Just Wants Doritos > TheBaron2112 12/17/2013 at 23:12

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I can't say I blame you, if I were in the market for a car in a competitive segment I would do the same thing. And I'd have it all memorized too.

Collin > Andy Pitt 12/17/2013 at 23:31

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It does if there is a backseat, but my bike is only set up for one rider.

hethoughtofcars > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/18/2013 at 01:09

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The issue for me is that no one wants my opinion on cars I actually like. 'What do you think of the Scion xD? Camry Hybrid? Nissan Versa sedan? Hyundai Veracruz?' Well, um, I really try not to think of any of those.

TDPR > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/18/2013 at 04:06

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I can sympathize. Not only am I a serious car enthusiast, I also have a pilot's certificate, AND work in the nuclear power industry. Friends, family, and acquaintances often ask me questions like, "What do you think about that plane crash?" (without specifying which one) or "My car makes a weird humming noise between 53 and 57 MPH, what do you think that is?" And don't get me started on the questions after Fukushima.

That said, I've come to realize that people respect my opinions on these things. They think I might know more about one of these subjects than the average person. I may or may not know the answer to their question, but I'm a bit flattered that they would ask me.

John Ross > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/18/2013 at 07:39

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I don't mind at all when people ask me the questions that you describe in this article. I tell them that I have a lot of general knowledge on cars, but I haven't driven or worked on the particular model they're interested in. But the situations you describe are very rare with me.

What always happens in MY case is that people who have just bought a car in the last week or so want my opinion of it AFTER THE DECISION-MAKING IS OVER. (I think a Car & Driver columnist wrote about this years ago and called it "Fido barks the numbers.")

I've gotten so I just smile and say "It doesn't matter what I think of it, because you obviously liked it better than all the other choices, which is why you bought it." If pressed (usually because the buyer now suspects he's made a mistake), I'll point out that we likely have different priorities due to our different physical dimensions, and a car that he loves to drive might be uncomfortable for me on a long trip. That usually gets me off the hook.

CalzoneGolem > wkiernan 12/18/2013 at 08:11

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It's so evil!

94GTratracer > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/18/2013 at 11:13

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Ummmm, I pretty much am Google, I've read every issue of Road & Track since 1968 (which, incidentally, was before I was born, but my father hoarded them) and I honestly don't mind any kind of car related question. It gives me more reasons to bullshit about cars, and I even enjoy trying to figure out what will work best for people with vastly different priorities. I don't give them a single option, though, just some possibilities I think they should try, and decide for themselves. This article is weird, and I don't really get it.

parkingking > Andy Pitt 12/18/2013 at 11:27

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No, because feet have to go on pegs. Legroom is a big thing to look at when deciding on a bike (although pegs can be relocated). Headroom, on the other hand...

volvomoose > MtrRider Just Wants Doritos 12/18/2013 at 12:16

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Most annoying question:

Person: So so and so is needing a new car, what do you think is a good cheap car for him/her that will get good mileage and NEVER break down?

Me: You do realize I drive 45 year old Volvos, and they break all the time, right?

volvomoose > volvomoose 12/18/2013 at 12:17

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I have found the easiest and shortest answer is to "Get a Civic"

They usually walk around like they've had some kind of epiphany after that...

MtrRider Just Wants Doritos > 94GTratracer 12/18/2013 at 13:59

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Ok, without Google tell me what engine a 1990 Ferrari 348 has and how fast it goes.

Andy Pitt > Andy Pitt 12/20/2013 at 22:56

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Huh, the things you learn. Please forgive my ignorance, as I am not a bike owner. I hope to change that in the next year or so, though! To be fair, I know pegs are a thing, and was just being pedantic. I didn't, however, realize that it's something you've got to consciously consider when purchasing. It does make perfect sense, of course, now that you mention it.

rabidcontent > . . 12/22/2013 at 00:45

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Yea, facts facts. NEVER decision making 'advice' though, that can be dangerous. If whatever you 'recommend' breaks, doesn't live up to expectations, or is made fun of by their peers, you're screwed.